


Your Fault

by AithuzahFic (veritably_mad)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Lyric rewrite, Song Lyrics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-18
Updated: 2015-06-18
Packaged: 2018-04-05 01:42:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4160838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veritably_mad/pseuds/AithuzahFic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>MORDRED (To Arthur)<br/>It's because of you there's a price on our heads and my family is dead!</p><p>ARTHUR<br/>But it isn't my fault<br/>my father made that law!<br/>He’s the one who tamed the magic chaos<br/>with that law!<br/>And without that law<br/>there'd have been no Purge<br/>to start the executions<br/>in the first place!</p><p>  <i>["Your Fault" from Into the Woods rewritten with Merlin characters.]</i></p>
            </blockquote>





	Your Fault

**Author's Note:**

> The timeline is screwy, the situation is vague, the characters don't match up perfectly to the lyrics of the original song (or to their canon personalities, for that matter), I'm not sure it makes a whole lot of sense most of the time, and there are probably a lot of other imperfections.
> 
> Sure was a hell of a lot of fun to write, though. 
> 
> [MAJOR SPOILERS FOR INTO THE WOODS IN ALL OF THE LINKS BELOW]  
> ["Your Fault" (Into the Woods 2014)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rwZxigyrpo) | ["Your Fault" (Into the Woods Original Broadway Cast)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8kxlNpyzrE) | ["Your Fault" (Original Lyrics)](http://www.lyricsondemand.com/soundtracks/i/intothewoodslyrics/yourfaultlyrics.html)

MORDRED (To Arthur)  
It's because of you there's a price on our heads and my family is dead!  
  
ARTHUR  
But it isn't my fault  
my father made that law!  
He’s the one who tamed the magic chaos  
with that law!  
And without that law  
there'd have been no Purge  
to start the executions  
in the first place!  
  
MORDRED  
Wait a minute! Uther’s Purge  
for a cause so cold  
that he had to tell a lie to sell it  
which he told!  
Were they worthless lives?  
Killed for just one flaw!  
Oh, and tell us who  
persuaded you  
to keep that law!  
  
MORGANA (To Arthur)  
See, it's your fault.  
  
ARTHUR  
No!  
  
MORDRED  
So it's your fault...  
  
ARTHUR  
No!  
  
MORGANA  
Yes, it is!  
  
ARTHUR  
It's not!  
  
MORDRED  
It's true.  
  
ARTHUR  
Wait a minute!  
But I only kept the law  
to keep my kingdom safe—  
from you!  
  
MORDRED (To Morgana)  
So it's your fault!  
  
ARTHUR  
Yes!  
  
MORGANA  
No, it isn't!  
I'd have kept my peace  
but our father was cruel.  
_She_ made him lose your mother  
and become a tool!  
  
NIMUEH  
It's your father's fault  
that the spell got placed  
and Ygraine got cursed  
in the first place!  
  
MERLIN  
Oh.  
Then it's his fault!  
  
NIMUEH  
So.  
  
GWEN  
It was his fault...  
  
ARTHUR  
No.  
  
MORDRED  
Yes, it is.  
It's his.  
  
GWEN  
I guess...  
  
ARTHUR  
Wait a minute, though—  
I killed the last dragon,  
right? That's clear.  
But without any dragons,  
then what's queer  
is how did a white dragon end up here  
in the first place?  
Second place...  
  
GWEN  
Yes!  
  
MORGANA  
How?  
  
MERLIN  
Well...  
  
ARTHUR  
Well, who had the dragon egg?  
  
MORDRED  
The dragon egg?  
  
GWEN  
The dragon egg?  
  
ARTHUR (To Morgana)  
You stole away the dragon egg!  
  
MORGANA  
I didn't!  
  
MORDRED  
Yes you did!  
  
ARTHUR  
So it’s her—!  
  
GWEN  
No, it isn't,  
Merlin said it was destroyed!  
  
MORDRED  
So it's his—!  
  
GWEN  
No, it isn't!  
  
MORDRED  
Then whose is it?  
  
ARTHUR (To MERLIN)  
Wait a minute!  
When that tower fell  
out of it you flew,  
so the one who knows what happened  
to that egg is you!  
  
MERLIN  
You mean that old egg—  
That we’d found—? Oh, dear—  
But I never knew,  
And so I threw—  
Well, don't look here!  
  
MORDRED  
So it's your fault!  
  
MERLIN  
But—  
  
ARTHUR  
See, it's his fault—  
  
MERLIN  
But—  
  
ARTHUR  
And it isn't mine at all!  
  
MORDRED (To Merlin)  
But what?  
  
MERLIN (To Morgana)  
Well, if you hadn't taken her away—  
  
MORGANA  
I was lonely—  
  
MERLIN  
You were only trying to get your way!  
  
MORGANA  
But I got it for my sister—!  
  
GWEN  
So it's her fault then!  
  
MERLIN  
Yes? And what about Morgause  
in the third place?  
  
ARTHUR  
Morgause—yes!  
  
MORGANA (to Merlin)  
He went and killed her, too!  
  
MERLIN  
I killed who?  
  
MORGANA  
You scarred her, too!  
She helped when I was scared  
and then you killed her, too!  
MERLIN  
Me?  
  
MORGANA  
He poisoned me!  
  
MERLIN  
No, I didn't!  
  
MORDRED, GWEN, ARTHUR  
So it's your fault!  
  
MERLIN  
Wait a minute—!  
  
MORDRED  
If you hadn't deceived her, too—  
  
MERLIN (To Morgana)  
And if you had left Camelot alone,  
we wouldn't be in trouble  
in the first place!  
  
MORDRED  
Well, if Uther hadn’t made the law  
in the first place—!  
  
ARTHUR  
Well, if Nimueh hadn't betrayed him in the first place—!  
  
MORGANA (To Merlin)  
It was your fault!  
  
ARTHUR (To Nimueh)  
Yes, if you hadn't killed her in the first place—!  
  
MORGANA  & MORDRED (To NIMUEH)  
Right! It's you who killed Ygraine in the first place-!  
  
MERLIN  
You cast the spell in the first place!  
  
ARTHUR  
It's your fault!  
  
MERLIN, MORGANA, GWEN, MORDRED  
You're responsible!  
You're the one to blame!  
It's your fault!

 

 

BONUS VERSE FROM “LAST MIDNIGHT”

 

NIMUEH

Of course what really matters  
Is the blame!  
Somebody to blame.  
Fine, if that's the thing you enjoy,  
Placing the blame,  
If that's the aim,  
Give me the blame—  
Just abolish the anti-magic laws and apologize for helping perpetuate an oppressive monarchy founded on innocent lives lost in a genocidal Purge that your father began :) 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments are always welcome, if you're so inclined.
> 
> { [come say hi!](http://aithuzah.tumblr.com) }


End file.
